|
|
|
| September, 2006 David Beebe Evangelines Article SOME LESSONS LEARNED Last month in this space, I observed that the wisdom of Jesus suggested (in what has sometimes been called “the Gospel Rule”) that when there is an issue between you and another Christian you should begin by talking with the person privately. The wards are in Matthew 18:16: If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one: I probably should say another word or so about that. I have learned that it is not always possible to do this directly. Some people are not able to acknowledge that there is a problem. And some people are not able to deal with problems directly. This sometimes means taking an indirect way. For instance, several years ago – actually in my first parish – another member (we will call him “Frank”) and I had words in the church council meeting. I knew that I owed him an apology. I also knew that if I apologized he would feel the need to apologize in return and that he wasn’t able to do this. So I waited until his family was gone and he was home alone. Then I went by to visit Frank. We sat in the kitchen, drank coffee, and talked about fishing -- I’m not much of a fisherman. He gave me a cigar – I don’t care for cigars. I think he knew both of these things. We parted friends and we had mended the relationship in unspoken ways. Also in my first church I offended another person just by standing up for what I thought was right. I didn’t think I owed him an apology, but a wise older member suggested that I apologize anyway. I did, and learned, as the Shaker hymn puts it: “’Tis a gift to be simple. ‘Tis a gift to be free. ‘Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be.” Oh, I have many lessons yet to learn, but that is why in the New Testament, the Christian life is called “The Way.” Grace and peace, David Beebe
|
