As we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas, we not only have numerous opportunities to offer our prayers of thanksgiving and gratitude to God, but to nurture an attitude of gratitude in others, particularly the children in our lives.

Most of us have heard the nagging young consumer’s chorus of “Gimme, gimme! I want, I want…! Your’re mean, because you won’t get _____.” Or, “That’s yucky! I won’t eat it.” We may find ourselves getting very irritated by this chorus, yet knowing that the “starving children in China” lecture won’t work, because it didn’t work on us. So what can we do to model gratitude?

Take every opportunity to thank God and others for things or help you have received, no matter how small, and talk to your children or grandchildren about why you do that. Frequently tell them you are thankful that they are a part of your life.

Think twice about expressing discontent in front of your children. “I hate this couch!” “I can’t stand my hair!” “I deserve better than you!” Such emotionally laden discontent communicates a cancerous dissatisfaction with life that is far different than gratitude. Share your discontent with your partner or a friend, a pastor or counselor, not with your children.

Remind your children to say please and thank you. During birthdays, make sure they pause to thank each gift giver individually. Make sure they write thank you notes (with your age appropriate help).

Give your children what they really need: being heard and loved deeply for who they are (not who you would like them to be), appreciation of and participation in their favorite activities, time for telling stories about your family and God’s family, and a regular and healthy schedule. Having lots of things does not make a child grateful; it may make them feel they deserve even more.

Make children wait and save for expensive things or experiences they impulsively want. Help them to reflect on whether they really want or need it. What other choices could they make with their money?

Give your children an opportunity to meet or serve the “least of those in God’s family.” Participate with them in the Adopt-a-family program, or in overseas Compassion Child or similar program. Have them help a house-poor neighbor, or visit with you in a nursing home, or attend church in the inner city.

Help your children to be good stewards of the things they use. If they litter, make sure they pick it up. If they break something, help them take responsibility for fixing it or replacing it, or at the least sincerely apologizing for breaking it.

Find room to offer willingly the gift of grace and forgiveness to your children, just as our God offers you forgiveness for wrongs done. A child who learns to be grateful for what they have, may also learn to be thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness that they do not deserve and cannot earn.

Thankful to join you in ministry,

Pastor Dave

P.S. I give thanks to author Heide Matson for many of these ideas.